Unloving: The opposite of love is not hate

Well, judging by today’s interruption in a string of beautiful spring days, we are going to have some beautiful May flowers! 😉 There is something soothing about a warm rainstorm, though, isn’t there? I’m OK with the rain, as long as it stays warm–beats snow, in my opinion! 🙂

My Gravatar got a makeover, courtesy of Jennifer! She is the creator of my adorable picture, the victorious toast who has landed jelly-side up. She named him Jell-Jell, and his current outfit is strawberry jelly. 🙂

Here is a close-up; isn’t he the cutest? ❤


Jell-Jell is strawberry-side up!

Wednesdays are kind of like Fridays for me, because they’re usually my last day of work for the week. However, that’s always tentative, based on whatever events we have going on. But this Wednesday was even more of a celebration than usual! As a reward for our department’s level of participation for an associate-satisfaction survey, we were brought a cookie platter. Now that Lent was over, nothing was holding me back (I gave up sweets for Lent, which is always SO difficult for me, so that’s why I choose it). The worst thing was that the cookies were bite-sized, so I couldn’t even tell myself that they would be too messy or too filling, and they were right in the middle of my department…apparently, everyone had the same thoughts, because the platter that was heaping at noontime looked like this at the end of the day:

Dessert Decimation

Dessert Decimation

Note how the cookies are wedged next to V8 juice and organic tea. I guess we were all on the same wavelength today, because everyone seemed to wear gray, too (probably power of suggestion from the booming thunderstorm that woke us all up).

Speaking of gray thoughts, today’s NaPoWriMo prompt wasn’t feeling the love today. Rather, the challenge was this:

An un-love poem isn’t a poem of hate, exactly — that might be a bit too shrill or boring. It’s more like a poem of sarcastic dislike. This is a good time to get in a good dig at people who chew with their mouth open, or always take the last oreo. If there’s no person you feel comfortable un-loving, maybe there’s a phenomenon? Like squirrels that eat your tomatoes. (I have many, many bitter feelings about tomato-eating squirrels). There’s lots of ways to go with this one, and lots of room for humor and surprise as well.

Anyone who would take my Oreo would actually go on an extreme hatred list, not mild dislike. I thought this would be a rather fun prompt, in a Taylor Swift sort of way, and I set out to do my sassiest. I reflected on a past relationship that I hadn’t thought about in awhile, one that still bothers me the way things were left. Initially, I was heartbroken, not because of the failed romance, but because of the deep friendship that was severed. I think I still am heartbroken, but it has changed from a bewildered indignation to a pitied understanding. (I apologize for all the passive voice, but I don’t want to give away too many details to prostrate the individual naked with my words. Or maybe I do…What Would Taylor Do?)

Through writing this poem, I realized the prompt was more right than I’d thought. Like the definition of an un-love poem, I remembered the quote “the opposite of love is not hate–it is indifference.” I didn’t find sarcastic humor in writing my poem–I think I’m past that stage, at this point–but I did find the surprise the prompt mentions, and it’s embedded in my last line.


“The Longest”
By: Amanda K. Fowler

You are the one I have loved the longest
And there is no word for it.
I crowned myself your queen
Because I unlocked you like a key.
It scared you to let anyone so close,
But it was destiny
And you could not change it.
You were there, always there,
And we all loved you for it.
But your fear won
And now you are gone,
And though I know
Where you are,
I mourn your loss
Because you have left
In the only way that mattered:
You have pretended yourself
Into somebody else,
And my key no longer fits
With your golem.
Like a hole in a tree,
You have left me altered;
I will go on living,
Thriving, even,
But I will never be the same.
You are the one I had loved the longest.


To me, the end of a friendship is as tragic as the end of a romantic relationship–sometimes, even more so. My mom and Jeremiah both always say of me that I’m “all in” with friendships; it’s hard for me to have casual friendships, because it is my instinct to love fully. And I have been blessed with some wonderful, lifelong friends. Lindsey has a good philosophy we were just discussing the other night: “I really believe some people are meant to be in your lives at certain times. They affect you in some way at that moment, but they might not stay.” Luckily, I’ve found a few who have. 🙂 And I hope the subject of my above poem has found his happiness and his peace, just as I have.

6 thoughts on “Unloving: The opposite of love is not hate

  1. Pingback: Friday & Butterflies | Jelly-Side Up

  2. Pingback: Sweet Sounds: Taylor Swift Concert & Pediatric Musical | Jelly-Side Up

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