Thoughts of Gratitude as 2020 Comes to a Close

Happy New Year, dear readers! While I’m as glad as anyone to leave 2020 in the rearview mirror, I can’t help but be grateful for some wonderful moments the year has had.

I’ve always appreciated loved ones, but this year has made me even more grateful for them. I’m grateful for all the creative ways we’ve managed to see each other, be it walks outside, FaceTime meals for Thanksgiving and Christmas, or outdoor picnics all the way into December (bundled up and with heaters!). Thank God for technology–I think it’s helped us all to stay more sane this year. Video calls are extraordinary in helping us stay connected and feel loved–I can’t imagine going through a pandemic without them. (That’s a sentence I never thought I’d write, before this year…).

I’ve enjoyed much more quality time at home with my husband and our doggo. With less commuting, less out-of-home commitments, less opportunity to leave the house, it’s helped me enjoy the “hygge” experience to the fullest. I’ll admit it was an adjustment for this extrovert, but it allowed for so much bonding at home. We still feel like newlyweds, but our marriage has taken on a richer, deeper feeling this year, as we’ve navigated historical, painful, difficult moments, with different perspectives, and come out much stronger and more united because of it all. I’ve always said I’m grateful I got to see Dave’s mettle immediately, as I met him at a difficult time in my life, and I knew he’d be an amazing partner for life. Well, this year, I got to see that even more.

I think this has been Leia’s best year ever. With tons of extra snuggles and attention, as well as fun joining in the picnics outside, she’s been having a blast. Her sweet, loving nature has been a huge source of happiness for our whole family this year, especially me. Even though she still acts like a puppy in many ways, she is getting older, and I know I will forever cherish this year of extra bonding we’ve been lucky to have. She’s been a wonderful sport as the subject for many of my DogTime.com articles and her own Instagram and Facebook pages (because if there were ever a year for fluffy adorable content improving lives around the world, wouldn’t 2020 be it?).

Also a guest star in our hygge experience was a much higher media consumption this year. Thank God for great entertainment that’s helped us to escape the difficult realities of the year temporarily, that’s given us moments of happiness, and even, sometimes, permanent growth with epiphanies to which we connect. I’ve had much more time for reading, writing, and watching great movies/series, as well as playing musical instruments and video games (Zelda: Breath of the Wild will always be tied to 2020 in my mind). To all the artists out there, I thank you for your gifts that have helped make this year much better for us all.

I’ve always been proud to work for Northwestern Medicine, but it’s been really rewarding to support lifesaving efforts this year in such a tangible way. I was proud to help put together many, many blood drives that have made an enormous difference in keeping blood supply afloat, during a year of crisis in national shortage, due to COVID. I’m very proud of our generous employees, and it’s been thrilling to support these efforts. In fact, Northwestern Medicine won the Beacon of Hope award for being Versiti Blood Center’s top blood-collecting Illinois partner this year!

It’s been a huge year for scientific breakthroughs. As horrible as COVID has been, we have learned so much from it. We end the year with having a vaccine–two, almost three, as well as antibody treatments being developed! I’m grateful for the scientists and volunteer test subjects who worked so hard to make this happen, as well as the governments and companies who funded the research so it could happen so quickly.

Our Christmas card encapsulates the highlights of our year! In early January, we got to see the Broadway version of Beauty and the Beast onstage, thanks to the generous Christmas present from Dave’s parents.
With timing that’s eerie in retrospect–our family went to Walt Disney World in early March, moments before the country went into pandemic panic and lockdown. Those magical memories have been carrying us through the year.

That was the last of any public events for us for the year! We also enjoyed dressing up in family pirate costumes (I know I’m biased, but I think Leia wins the prize for cutest pirate ever!). My photographer extraordinaire husband also took beautiful family photos outside in our backyard on our anniversary weekend, and I just love them. (Not pictured on our card: pandemic.)

You know what? I’ll even miss “#2020,” the blanket excuse for anything going wrong, from a spilled drink to a major disaster–the collective wry blaming joke we shared across the globe. Those of us old enough to remember this year will forever recall, with a mix of stress and laughter at the ridiculous (once it’s far enough behind us)–the toilet paper shortages, the sourdough craze across the globe, the wardrobe of masks, and, I hope, some fond memories of closeness with loved ones, whether it was cuddling in person or extra video calls, social media conversations, etc. For those of you who have had a particularly tough year of illness or loss, my heart and prayers go out to you. I hope 2021 will be better for all of us.

Wishing you love, happiness, wellness, and prosperity in the year to come.

Happy (Re)birthday to Me

Hello, dear readers! Today is a day that always fills me with deep thoughts and gratitude. It’s the day I’ve been calling Miracle Day for years, which my husband has re-branded cutely into “Amanda Day.” Just over a week away from my actual birthday, I realize it could also be called my rebirth day.

Fourteen years ago, I was a passenger in a near-fatal car crash that left me with a traumatic brain injury, an uphill battle of relearning absolutely everything (walking, talking, eating, seeing, balancing…etc.)–and a huge sense of purpose. Three years ago, another horrific car crash (rear-ended!) left me with another head injury and a renewed sense of purpose and love.

I beg you to consider it more the literary nerd in me rather than total egomania–but part of what’s helped me piece together the puzzle of my life is realizing that many literary heroes undergo an epic quest and ultimate rebirth to become a new, leveled-up, wiser version of their still former selves–not a transformation into a different person, but a better version of themselves. These epic heroes have traded something dear to realize their destiny. There is usually an element of loss, but for a greater gain and a greater good. They don’t give up because things have changed; they move forward, realizing they are better equipped, even if it’s difficult, and even if they must get to know themselves anew.

I reflect on this often, blessed as I am to have made a “full recovery.” I put it in quotes, because a brain injury is permanent. However, the brain is FASCINATING in its ability to rebuild new connections, new workarounds for how things used to be. Just because an area of the brain was damaged does not necessarily mean that a function/skill is lost–the brain can often accommodate, especially with great rehab like I had at Marianjoy Rehabilitation Hospital, part of Northwestern Medicine (where I proudly work!). Now, 14 years after my major trauma, I certainly think/work differently before–but I don’t (usually) think of it as a bad thing. Things that are perhaps a bit slower for me now are certainly offset by the enormous perspective, compassion, and sense of purpose I gained. I feel like I see the world completely differently now; that my unquenchable sense of carpe diem has unlocked a thousand lifetimes for me, that my equally heartbreaking and heart-filling sense of empathy is a network of a thousand souls.

I was blessed to recover as I did, in a completeness that many are not lucky enough to reach–and let me tell you, that survivor’s guilt is intense. As much as I LOVE volunteering, donating, mentoring, giving back–I will never feel equal to the love and support God, my family, friends, and strangers showed me during my recovery. Recovery for me was an enormous hug with a soft, warm blanket of love that has only grown since those hard days.

November is an interesting month for me–and again, it’s the literary nerd in me that seeks themes–but I could not think of a better series of holidays to celebrate: Rebirth Day/Miracle Day/Amanda Day; Thanksgiving (SO MUCH to be thankful for); and my actual birthday. Thank you God, family, husband, friends, coworkers, and again, strangers–for making this life so beautiful and blessed.

Today is sometimes melancholic for me, reflecting on how lucky I have been to be saved twice on November 21 and wondering what it all means. More than anything, it is a day filled with gratitude. My husband and family make sure it is also a fun day for me. Tonight, Dave and I played a word game (my favorite!) and I had pizza (also my favorite!) and am soon to partake in some dark chocolate (another favorite–see a theme?). I’m writing on my new laptop I’m already obsessed with that Dave got me as an early present for Amanda Day/birthday/Christmas (who gets presents for the anniversary of their medical events?? This lucky wife! 🙂 ) My wonderful boss made sure I was able to work from home today so I wouldn’t have to be on the roads and could stay comfortable–and she gave me many hugs and such compassion, along with several other coworkers yesterday.

I am absolutely blessed with this life. Even the dark moments led to more beauty, more growth, a deeper existence–a rebirth. 🙂